An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist........
An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems. The computer scientist says "It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. My wife thinks I'm with my mistress. My mistress thinks I'm home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!"

when a programmer has had sex........
How can you tell when a programmer has had sex?
When he’s washing the pepper spray out of his eyes.

Byte Conversation........
Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

Eight bytes walk ........
Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”
“Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”

How did the programmer die in the shower?........
Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

How many programers dose it take to change a light bulb?........
How many programers dose it take to change a light bulb?
None – It’s a hardare problem

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?........
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

There are only 10 kinds of people in this world:........
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don’t.

butcher shop ........
A programmer walks to the butcher shop and buys a kilo of meat. An hour later he comes back upset that the butcher shortchanged him by 24 grams..

IT Jokes........
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”

Programming is like sex:........
Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings ........
A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”

To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”

A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp.........
A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”

The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”

The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”

The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”

At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”

One hundred little bugs in the code........
One hundred little bugs in the code
One hundred little bugs.
Fix a bug, link the fix in,
One hundred little bugs in the code.